I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
