so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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