I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My vagina is officially offended.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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