OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
