I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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