I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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