3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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