is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
