when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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