Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize