Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Too much gin, very little bucket
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize