I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
