Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize