whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
