Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
