I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
