dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
