We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
