I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
