haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
