Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
This is the prime rib incident all over again
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
