At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize