please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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