it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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