Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
