Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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