the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
