is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
