he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
