There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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