So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
