why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
