i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
