As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The uberlube is also flammable
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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