i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
