You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
