I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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