I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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