No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
