$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
