So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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