HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My penis needs a shock collar
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
