Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
