Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
