If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
God, I missed his penis.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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