I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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