Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
