I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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