Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
pray to the hookup gods
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
