his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize