Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She said her name was "party"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
