Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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