When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
