It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
