I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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