hell yes lets make some ravioli
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
