Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
