Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
