Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
