I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
