with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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