she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
