Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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